everything is never quite enough (mikeijames) wrote,
everything is never quite enough

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blue skies, holding promise.

Here is your Daily Single's Horoscope for Saturday, December 3

Lavish some attention on the most important person in your love life -- you. Treat yourself to a matinee, buy yourself a little treat you've had your eye on or just veg out luxuriously.

well, one could say that i've found myself utterly neglectful but truly i haven't had the words to express all the feelings that have rushed through my mind over the past two months. i suppose it started with alex' wedding: my friend alex, the one person in my life most adept at creating iconography of the quintessential -- from his moment on the bus in the mexico countryside clapping for the spanish guitarist after too many glasses of vino to the moment at this wedding where he fell against the ice rink in chicago's millenium park with his husband against the star-filled night of the chicago skyline -- held an event at the park grill in chicago that truly will stand as the end of one of the best years of my life. my time in chicago stands as the first time i came to the city completely under my own steam. no group trip. no couch surfing. no bottles of grey goose stashed away in my suitcase. and the weather could not have charmed me more and even the hotel -- in its expected disrepair -- stroked that part of myself that finds such joy in the experience of travel. after a short flight with the real housewives of tampa, a group of women swathed in furs coming to chicago for a weekend of outright -- "last year, i got my burberry boots with the mink cuffs for a song" -- conspicuous consumption, and i took the train in and ingested sleeping pills as i had literally worked until four in the morning, drove to the park and ride bus stop for the airport where i got left, then drove to the airport to waste forty dollars for no reason on parking, and then raced to the red eye, raced on the train, and then, lost in downtown chicago, product, again, of being there on my own steam, and eventually made it to the hotel where i settled the bill in cash. that evening, i took a bath in my room and then readied myself for the welcome dinner where alex wore white tuxedo pants, again, iconic -- we arrived at alex' home for cheese and cocktails -- and upon seeing my outfit -- topman blazer, zara button down, prada brooch, black skinny jeans, and bally trainers -- quickly ruled out any naughtiness after the dinner. we watched a quick run through of the ceremony and then headed up to giordano's for the dinner itself. we had loads of fun over several cocktails and loads of chicago-style comfort food. we eventually decamped to sidetrack and i proceeded to fall in love with each and every one of the cousins from the in-law's side. but you know me with good old fashioned midwesterners. they're like catnip. afterward, rob and i went to south loop club, this diner near our respective hotels, and over calamari and long conversation, it occurred to me that i had not taken my blood pressure medication as i found myself nearly about to pass out. i had room service in the room once rob nearly carried me back to my room and the alcohol procured tears over my own carelessness and my old age. the next day, i found myself immersed in the pleasures of hotel living with restful sleep in a well made bed and room service brought to me at the crack of dawn while i recuperated with hours of msnbc and plans for shopping later. eventually, i staked out in the cold with my military greens, my trench, my hat, feeling oh-so-cosmopolitan -- one woman grabbed her daughter upon seeing me and said, "those are tom fords," as i passed -- and i met with rob and tim at the tiffany on michigan avenue and rob and tim blew about a thousand bucks on their gift. yes, making me feel shamed, but i'm the broke friend, i hope that's clear: i have no spouse to pick up the tab on a set of elsa perretti thumb bowls in gorgeous blue. although i might have to snag one of those oh-too-phallic elsa perretti bone candlesticks. after tim had a back issue, i found myself stranded on michigan avenue and raided all of the finery that it had to offer between topman, filene's closing sale, and the spectacular sights of all those holiday windows lit to perfection rivaled only by new york itself. in my daze, i lost track of time, and had to speed to the train back to the hotel to change and make it to milennium park for the ceremony. to say the ceremony started perfectly understates the case. the bride wore a dolce and gabbana tuxedo with a lanvin bowtie while the bridegroom floated around so strapping that i found myself happy before the ceremony even started. we all flitted around during the cocktail hour with goat cheese lollipop and beef carpaccio and so many other great aperitifs and appetizers. upon the ceremony, i felt the tears again well as the judge recited the ceremonials and afterward i rushed up after the parents to hug them both and welcome the newest member into our circle of friendship. after the ceremony, i imbibed so much that much of the reception dinner remains a blur, but i do recall rurnning into one of alex's best friends who finds herself the best friend of the columbus prospect and after my lovely time with rob's husband and alex's photographer friends and an ediatrix at harlequin, i began a conversation with this friend that spanned too many drinks, our exit from park grill, and rushing off to a bar aptly named "downtown." at the bar, i waxed absolutely rhapsodic about the columbus prospect and who knows what may happen, but we have been texting, but when i suggested i call, that got shut down. and the phone works two ways and it's only worked one way so far. further, i've been quite busy of late, but we'll get to that later.

after the wedding, rob and i had another friendship summit at the south loop club and i didn't pass out this time and we hugged it off -- wrapping it up around five or six -- and i left my wallet so i had to walk back in the dawn -- race to the hotel to take a disco nap and then get dressed for my plane. on the train, my friend jen from new york called to tell me that my friend sara had separated -- legally for she has been physically separated for years -- from her husband. she cried on the phone even as i wrestled with my hastily packed luggage. back home, i went directly from the airport to downtown tampa for the janet jackson concert. well. i spent about a half hour on the phone with sara and found out the details of her separation and i agreed to come down to miami for new year's and then walked over to fly bar for a few drinks and a small snack. well. i ran into this p.r. girl i know and i walked with them to the concert before taking my seats in row x. yeah. far. and for two hundred dollars at that. the concert blew my mind but i wasn't drunk enough to make a scene. both janet and i got the black denim call. so. truly a fitting end to a great year. after the concert, i settled into a hermit like existence with my biggest outing occurring in the days before chistmas with hastily procured gifts. on christmas eve, the exsomeone reprised our yearly tradition although i had no gifts this year outside of my company. and while i haven't had feelings for the exsomeone since the brazilian, it felt good not to pine away alone on yet another holiday -- cue "no happy holidays" by mary j. blige -- and after christmas (one marred by three separate emotinal breakdowns from my mother and sister), and after unsatisfactory text messages from my thanksgiving dalliance and my columbus prospect, i sprinted down to miami. i watched shame with sara in ft. lauderdale and we had great pizza from whole foods and vegged out. on new year's eve, we went down to the village at merrick park so i could scope out my etro pony hair lace ups, which they didn't have, and the girl at nordstrom talked me into the bulgari green tea fragrance. after that, we went to brickell for a well-made dinner and gobs of champagne. we went to club fifty around half past eleven and found a malay at the door. well. we eventually got in and did not have a table, didn't have drinks, and didn't have a good time. not until about maybe half past one. yeah. worst new year's ever. but you know, at least it's a story. and you know, better than most for most people. my friend sara met a strapping youngster and i hit on every eligible and not eligible in the bar to no end. the next day, we brunched it out at balans and toured daytime brickell which made me miss south beach and my old favorite coworker, but it wasn't in the cards for us this trip. we sort of dozed away the afternoon and eventually went for sushi later that night and eventually wound up back at her condo watching downton abbey and unearthing photographs from our college days.

well, when i got back to town, i found myself embarrassingly rotund in my new year's eve pictures and resolved to diet with a big carby kiss off at cassis and a resolution to do something big for my birthday. well, that really brings us to present as i've been slowly rebuilding my finances after one trip followed by another, and finally, two weeks ago, i decided, i'm going to take an "eat pray love" trip to buenos aires for my birthday because i just could not stand staying here depressed and i did not want to find myself longing for things past without pushing into the future. i started a regimen of classes at school to sharpen my pen and even as i got into the new routine, and well, as soon as i thought i'd settle into that, at work, they announced a round of lay offs that would affect my department by three to four positions: and of course, i thought i should batton down the hatches (and call off any adventures abroad), but quickly received assurances from my boss that i shouldn't count myself in danger, and after i put pen to paper, i realized i should be able to survive until september even if the worse happened and just when i thought i could deal with no more change: the p.r. girl texted me two nights ago to tell me she's moving to fort lauderdale and we need one last send off. so we went to hiro's -- i had spent my last disposable penny on my planes and hotels and such -- and i got kind of tipsy and we caught each other up on our love lives -- or lack thereof -- and then i went to the only bar in town -- which had a sad showing for a friday night (even at two o clock in the morning) -- and i came home in a mood to connect and wrote to this twenty four year old i've always fancied but never had the guts, this english professor, and the brazilian on facebook. well. turns out the brazilian has moved back to brazil to take care of an invalid father and i suspect a mentally unwell mother and we chatted all day today on facebook. every pang of attraction and pain came back and we hashed the issue of our demise: apparently, on that final night, the brazilian suffered the loss of a patient at work. and i guess when i called angry about not receiving a response and going off, the brazilian just wrote me off because the brazilian couldn't deal with both. well, if that didn't set my mind soaring with possibility and if mutually exchanged i-miss-yous didn't have me looking to see if i could take a detour to brasilia, i found that both prospects messaged in drunkeness and one -- the twenty four year old psychology student -- began texting me. i don't know why i always start these things when i'm about to go somewhere, but i always find it best to have something to leave behind, i suppose.

Invest in Your Spiritual Life!

The planet of love, Venus, opposes Mars on February 1, offering a terrific opportunity to address past relationship difficulties. Then on February 3, Neptune enters its home sign, Pisces, when cultivating your spirituality becomes an important ingredient in attaining success.

so here i find myself looking to the blue skies again promise me some long needed escape, but it appears i"m not the only one wrapped up in this notion with karl lagerfeld trying his hardest not to admit that his latest couture show found inspiration in the now cancelled "pan am" television show (and the glamour of those stewardesses) and the blue skies they themselves brought into the modern world. and though i didn"t find myself inspired by chanel"s pre-fall or prada"s spring-summer, we find that from david lynch technicolor blue skies to blue suited girls walking down the aisle of the plane, everyone looks to the skies to avoid the economic desperation waiting on the ground.Collapse )

Tags: decadence, exsomeone, foundation, friendship, just me, nightlife, sister, the brazilian, the stars, travels
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